This incident happened when I was around 10. It was a normal school day and my friends and I were at the canteen during recess time. We all decided to queue for at the Chinese noodles and ‘hor fun’ stall and as usual, my Malay friend, Nadia, would proceed to queue at the Malay food stall. I was curious as to why she’s always eating from the same stall even though the other stalls had food that didn’t serve pork.
After settling down with our food, I decided to be “nice” and scooped some of my ‘hor fun’ into her bowl of ‘nasi goreng’. She immediately flared up and demanded that I get her another bowl. I jumped in to defend myself and said, “You’re always eating the same things, wouldn’t you get bored? I’m just trying to share with you. Anyway, it’s not like I put pork inside.” Upon hearing what I said, Nadia turned and walked away, and that was the end of our friendship.
I later learnt that it is not just a matter of whether there is pork or not in the dish served, but also whether it is Halal or not.
This incident took place because of my lack of awareness for the different cultures amongst the different races. One wrong action due to my ignorance could turn a friendship sour. I clearly knew that she was Muslim, and the only thing I knew about her was that she could not eat pork. My understanding of her religion was just as much and I took no effort in finding out more even though she was one of my closer friends in primary school. I have learnt my lesson since then and I know better than to test the beliefs of any person.
This happened also because I was disrespectful towards others. In the first place, basic courtesy would have held me back from just dumping my food into another person’s bowl. There might be cases where a person just prefers to eat the same type of food due to cultural habits and beliefs and it is important to respect that.
Besides my actions, my words also played a part. If I had understood the Muslim culture better, my retort towards Nadia would have been more than unreasonable. And a combination of both my actions and words led to a disastrous outcome. And as a result, I have not only brought hurt and insult to Nadia and her cultural beliefs; I have also lost a friend.
A better approach to the situation would have been for me to ask her nicely why she did not want to try food from the other food stalls. She might then explain why and I would have gained new insight instead of losing a friend.
