Final Reflection (Post #7)

From my very first post, I mentioned that I was an attention seeker who loved to talk and ceased to listen. To make people listen, I would yell whatever that comes to mind without processing what I want to say. Over the period of the course, I have learned that it is important to be able to listen well, and give opinions only when it is appropriate. My idea of communication have also changed in the sense that I now understand that communication is not only verbal, but it also encompasses non verbal cues or certain acts.

Throughout these few months in the course, I have also learned that the way we communicate with another person could result in very different outcomes. An inappropriate choice of words or even the lack of a smile could lead to undesired circumstances. To be able to communicate effectively would also mean that there is magnitude in the things I say and respect for my listener.

The different skills and role playing we had in class has definitely heightened my knowledge on many different situations. Many topics and issues discussed also opened me up to new ideas which have never crossed my mind. For example, the various blog evaluations on intercultural behaviour gave me insights to cultural practices I was previously ignorant about.

In particular, the research study we did taught me many skills. One important thing I learned was how to work effectively in a team. I learned that it is important to be able to understand the way each team member works in order to have an enjoyable working experience together. The course of this project also taught me more about myself and the way I handled things, and this gave me a better idea on how I can improve myself.

It has been a fun and enriching 4 months in the course and I have taken with me valuable skills and friendships.

Biodata (Post #6)

I am currently a second year undergraduate from the National University of Singapore (NUS) and I major in the Life Sciences with concentration in Biomedical Sciences. I have great interest in the field of Pharmaceutical Sales.

I used to work part time as an Administrative assistant and Customer Service officer at the American International Assurance. I was in charge of all administrative duties and helped organise activities for my company. As a Customer Service officer, I also handled client’s requests and complaints. These work experiences has helped improve my organisational skills and also heightened my interpersonal skills. Being a part time tutor has also taught me to be a patient and responsible individual.

As a person, I love to take part in a variety of activities to improve myself as a person and to gain experience in every possible aspect. In University, I was an assistant orientation group leader during the Science orientation. Back in Victoria Junior College, I was an overall vice captain in Judo and I represented school at the inter school national competitions. Both experiences honed my leadership skills and taught me how to work effectively in a team. I also represented school in the Singapore Science and Engineering Fair and presented a research project at the fair to many professors and directors. This event greatly improved my presentation skills. I also took part in a course in professional communication and learnt many skills relevant to work.

I am someone who loves challenges and constantly seek excellence in everything I do. I hope that the skills I have picked up from work and school will be beneficial to my career in the future.

Open Topic: Other Communication Issues (Post #5)

This incident was an interpersonal conflict I encountered myself. I am sure many of us have experienced backstabbing and conflict during our Secondary school days.

I was from a girl’s school during my secondary school days and this happened when I was in Secondary 2. I knew a girl from Secondary 3 who was named Shu Ting as well but with a different surname.( Let’s call her ST) We were not exactly the closest of friends but we were cordial with each other and greeted each other whenever we met. This was what happened. I got news one day that ST was spreading rumours about me, accusing me of hacking into her msn and other online accounts to talk to her friends. I also heard that she was unhappy because I was smearing her name online. Apparently, ST deduced that I was the culprit because we shared the same name. What happened next could be well seen as bullying in school. Whenever ST walked past me in school, both she and friends would call me demeaning names and throw profanities at my friends. My friends, of course, retaliated. I was so angry of being accused so badly that I complained about it to most of my friends. Little did I know that my friends were already plotting a get back at ST. They started a whole string of rumours about ST and ruined her reputation at school very badly. I eventually “won” and got the masses to support me instead of ST. My friendship with ST was, however, damaged beyond repair and I never talked to her again.

This is an example of a very childish incident that occurred due to miscommunication. Firstly I believe that this happened because ST and I did not understand each other well enough. Next, ST should not have jumped to the conclusion that I was the one who hacked into her account without even approaching me to ask me about it. This hasty accusation only leads to further conflict which involved our friends on both ends. I was also wrong on my part to have complained to all my friends about this issue without first seeking ST for a cordial talk to clear the misunderstanding. By complaining to my friends, I was also spreading rumours, and this made me equally uncivilized. If I was more mature back then, I would have also not been bothered by her demeaning comments and profanities and my friends and I would not have retaliated. This whole situation was blown out of proportion simply because of a lack in communication.

So dear friends, how would you handle a situation like this, or in general, how would you respond if you were accused of something you did not do (in both personal as well as business context)?

Evaluating Intercultural Behavior (Post #4)

This incident happened when I was around 10. It was a normal school day and my friends and I were at the canteen during recess time. We all decided to queue for at the Chinese noodles and ‘hor fun’ stall and as usual, my Malay friend, Nadia, would proceed to queue at the Malay food stall. I was curious as to why she’s always eating from the same stall even though the other stalls had food that didn’t serve pork.

After settling down with our food, I decided to be “nice” and scooped some of my ‘hor fun’ into her bowl of ‘nasi goreng’. She immediately flared up and demanded that I get her another bowl. I jumped in to defend myself and said, “You’re always eating the same things, wouldn’t you get bored? I’m just trying to share with you. Anyway, it’s not like I put pork inside.” Upon hearing what I said, Nadia turned and walked away, and that was the end of our friendship.

I later learnt that it is not just a matter of whether there is pork or not in the dish served, but also whether it is Halal or not.

This incident took place because of my lack of awareness for the different cultures amongst the different races. One wrong action due to my ignorance could turn a friendship sour. I clearly knew that she was Muslim, and the only thing I knew about her was that she could not eat pork. My understanding of her religion was just as much and I took no effort in finding out more even though she was one of my closer friends in primary school. I have learnt my lesson since then and I know better than to test the beliefs of any person.

This happened also because I was disrespectful towards others. In the first place, basic courtesy would have held me back from just dumping my food into another person’s bowl. There might be cases where a person just prefers to eat the same type of food due to cultural habits and beliefs and it is important to respect that.

Besides my actions, my words also played a part. If I had understood the Muslim culture better, my retort towards Nadia would have been more than unreasonable. And a combination of both my actions and words led to a disastrous outcome. And as a result, I have not only brought hurt and insult to Nadia and her cultural beliefs; I have also lost a friend.

A better approach to the situation would have been for me to ask her nicely why she did not want to try food from the other food stalls. She might then explain why and I would have gained new insight instead of losing a friend.